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| hey guys new xanga i work so i can update more want_2_bebeautiful | | |
| april- life could not be anymore confusing  .....ok lats time that i wrote it was on december 6 and i talked about me and adam.... . me amh him we fine and dandy until we weren't.on my birthday was the last time that we kissed. two days late i went into surgery. i came out and i didnt have a friend anymore. i lost a really really big part of me when i lost him. i lost a friend a soulmate a lover and my heart. we dont even look at eachother in the halls anymore. january was hard for me. the fact that my gradfather had died was starting to sink in and and my heart was broken.february was the first time i didnt have a valentine in about 5 years. i missed having someone to share things with and it seemed like all my friends were too busy with their boyfriends to have time so...time came for the soph hop things were looking up i hadnt thought baout adam for about a months and scott was coming home to take me to the dance. we bought a dress got my nails down had an appointment for me hair and scott doesnt return me phone calls the whole weeks before the dance. i'm hopin' to hear from him at the weeks of the dance but never did so three days before i was thinking of asking 3 people kenny ( the coolest guy ever) danny(damn he would have looked good) or rico .....enough said. i called rico up and said im really sorry its kind of short notice but i was wondering if you would accompany me to my soph hop. he goes what do i need? from then on i've been infatuated with him.apparently he likes me and stuff liek that then just two days ago i find out he and his brother whom ive known for about 8 years think im immature. Can you believe it? i mean sure sumtimes i can be but he's like so uptight half the time and i was really nervous around him. im not sayin he's replacable but there are many other prospects. Tom, mike, matt, matt m., dom, pat, kyle, etc.. haha darnell might want to take me to prom lmao that is tooooo funny.....oh yea and im completely jealous of rae she has got the sweetest b/f well i had my time with him its her turn i just wish i didnt let him got so easily. "a broken heart will never mend. It leaves a hole in your sould . you can put a patch over it by findin sumone new but the hole never quite heals" oh yea and for some strange freakin reason greg thinks he has the right to come around and ask me out. i may be a little ditzy sumetimes but im not completely braindead. oh about the surgery and stuff ive been in and out of the hospital almost every other week. first i was throwing up blood all of the time then i had a lump on my stomach. the i have a cyst on my ovaries. i cant stand being so sic but i guess i did something bad enough to deserve all of this......alright well im out gotta go get ready | | |
| hey everybody im back lol not that anyone reads this. ok well i havent written anything since june 7th so i have alot to catch up on. okay june third i dumped jesse becasue well i found out he was cheating on me. the bad thing is in a way i cheated on him. i let myself becaome attached to one of his friends scott. scott asked me out later that day. june was a big mess i kinda did i few things i shoudlnt have dun. for one thing i didnt go to school liek at all during june and i ended up blowin off the one person who i cared abotu most of all. adam. july. i started going to practice and stuff with scotty and it was fun. i talked to adam 2 times for abotu 5 minutes total.august got a little more complicxated toward the end. see the thing is i couldnt tell anyone me and csott were together so peopel became suspicious and i had to lie. then my moms boss' daughter started saying me and him were makin' out at the movies when we weren't. john flipped on scott and everythign went downhill from there. September-school started and i saw adam again .everythign was as it was before except better between us. september me and scott broke up. ok october 25 me and my soulmate bestfriend started going out lol im crazy about him.completely totally crazy. scott leaves for basic training. november 18 me and my b/f break up. we're still best friend. just best friends who are still in love with eachother.
if im not in love with you, what is this im going thru, tonite. and if this heart is lying then, what should i believe in. why do i go crazy, every time i think about you baby. why else do i want you like i do. if im not in love with you. and if i dont need your touch, why do i miss you so much, tonite. if its just infatuation then, why is my heart achin. to hold you forever. give a part of me i thought id never give again to someone i could lose. if im not in love with you. oh why in every fantasy do i feel your arms embracing me. like lovers lost in sweet desire. and why in dreams do i surrender like a little baby. how do i explain this feeling. someone tell me. if im not in love with you what is this im going thru, tonite, and if this heart is lying then, what should i believe in. why do i go crazy, every time i think about you baby why else do i want you like i do if im not in love with you... | | |
| first of all i would liek to say happy birthday to the coolest guy in the world chino you rock man. Cant believe you're all grown up 18 years old.
second i woudl liek to let the world know me and jess the once was called magical couple are over capish dun with. hurts liek hell kinda i mean we got kind of distant and he went to michigan for the weekend and liek ive always said temptations a muther fucker but i forgive him i just dont understand why he didnt tell me.
third i feel guilty for sayin all that now because i have a b/f but ne ways his name is scott hes funny he's nice i have so much fun when im around him. i think the times ive spent with him are toppin the charts for fun times at central high lol actually half the time im not at school so..........
fourth omg finals rock lol im liek passin all of them lol i better lol i knwo i passed the first 3 but...... i gotta pray
well love you all smooches and a special shout out goes to my baby jordan thanks for armadillo (everyone meet scotts little brother jordan) | | |
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You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss that never lessens and always blows your partner away like the first time. | | |
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